Going Muggle
by rpeh
Summary: Unable to find love in the magical world, Harry is persuaded by a worried Hermione to seek it in the muggle world instead. The magical world is unimpressed by his choice. HP/OC HG/RW
1. Chapter 1: Internet Dating

Disclaimer: It all belongs to JK Rowling, except the bits you don't recognise, which are probably mine.

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**Chapter 1: Internet Dating**

"What about her?"

"Have you read the profile, Hermione? It's only 150 words but she manages to fit in seven spelling mistakes and about thirty exclamation marks. Can you really see me getting on with someone like that?"

Hermione's eyes tracked across the page as she read more about "Christie123". "I see what you mean. Perhaps not... Okay, look at her then - she's gorgeous!"

"Are we picking out a date for you or for me?" sighed Harry.

"But she's lovely! You two would look so good..."

Hermione broke off as she saw Harry's raised eyebrow and lopsided grin. "Sorry.", she muttered.

"The idea is that I pick out someone who I think would suit me, then you tell me what you think." said Harry as he opened a new browser window and started typing out a more explicit search. "If we're going to indulge your repressed lesbian fantasies there are other sites we can try." He winced as his friend punched him on the arm then closed the new window and went back to looking at more profiles. "I don't know why I let you talk me into this in the first place".

"Because you're 21 years old, you haven't dated in two years and your best friends think it's time you started", replied Hermione. "If you want a girl who likes you as Harry and not for being the Boy-who-lived, what better place is there to look than in the muggle world? There are a thousand times more young women and not one of them has heard of you."

Harry frowned as he considered the truth of Hermione's words.

After the Battle of Hogwarts and Voldemort's death there had been a vast outpouring of emotion in the wizarding world. Dozens of weddings took place and new pairings sprang up almost daily. Harry had bought himself a flat in London but virtually moved in to The Burrow where he and Ginny Weasley spent endless long moments in each others' arms. On the surface it seemed to be the perfect romance but it wasn't long before the pair realised they wanted different things. The emotion washed over Harry while Ginny swam in it: she wanted to go out to parties while he preferred peace and quiet; she wanted to meet new people while he wanted to spend time with his close friends. Neither could change into what the other needed, and they agreed, fairly amicably, to call it a day.

Since the break-up, their romantic lives had gone the same way. Ginny had dated three or four seventh years as well as a reserve Puddlemere chaser, newly graduated from Beauxbatons; Harry spent hours at work training to be an auror, but the only social life he had was when Ron or Hermione forced him out of his flat at wand-point.

After a couple of years of this, his two best friends were deeply worried. Ron had no ideas beyond hugely unsubtle suggestions that Harry give it another go with Ginny. Hermione, however, decided that difficult times called for difficult measures, and after quite a bit of cajoling, managed to get Harry to give Internet dating a try. Harry agreed but insisted that as she probably knew him better than he did himself, and was far better at reading subtext than he was, Hermione had to help him choose. Part of him was now regretting his insistence. A larger part was regretting the whole thing.

"Why don't you pour us a glass of wine?" suggested Harry. "There's some cheap muck on the rack in the kitchen and the drinkable stuff is out in the back."

"I'll go for cheap", said Hermione. "Every time you persuade me to drink good wine it takes me a month to be able to stomach the kind of stuff I can actually afford. Red or white?"

"Red for me", he replied, "But both should be open so help yourself."

Hermione got up and headed into the kitchen while Harry moved on to the next page.

He was staring at the one of the profiles when Hermione sat back down and handed him a glass of merlot.

"What's the problem?"

"Thanks. That one's the problem.", said Harry. He took a sip and gestured with the wine glass at the picture of a young redhead with brown eyes.

Hermione looked at the picture. It wasn't really that similar to Ginny but it was obviously close enough to stir memories for her friend.

"I thought you were over her now", she said.

Harry thought for a moment. "I am. But I still have the memory of being in love with her. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah." Hermione moved her chair closer to Harry, put an arm around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder. "Come on, Harry. Let's get you some new memories so you don't have to spend so much time with the old ones."

More profiles failed the pair's scrutiny.

"Too old. More mature is one thing but I'm only 21 and she's 37..."

"She's too young. Don't you have to be 18 to be on this thing?"

"Wow... she makes Lavender Brown look like an intellectual!"

Twenty minutes later, Harry paused. "Now this one looks interesting."

"Long curly brown hair... brown eyes... student... Is there something you've been meaning to tell me Harry?" teased Hermione.

"You caught me out. You've always been the only one for me. Will you marry me, Hermione?" - Harry upped the ante.

"Oh how I've waited for those words! I'm the happiest woman in the world!", she upped it right back. "Seriously. What is it about... SexyAccountant? Are you kidding me?"

"Well you have to admit she looks pretty sexy", replied Harry. "And I'm guessing the 'accountant' bit is because she's studying at the LSE."

"We've seen lots of attractive women, Harry. Why has this one caught your eye?"

"I honestly have no idea." Harry frowned. "She just... feels right".

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Destiny, huh? Well what are you going to say to her?"

"I suppose it's like ripping a plaster off - just get it done" said Harry. He cracked his fingers in anticipation. "Okay, no comments while I'm typing"

'Hi. My name is Harry. I saw your profile and want to know more about you. My own profile is honest but I have to confess that it misses out some of the most interesting items. I hope we'll be able to explore my past together. If you want to find out more and I look like the kind of guy that might be worth a second glance, please reply.'

"And now you can cast a killing curse on me", said Harry, burying his head in his hands.

"It's... " Hermione stopped.

"You know you can just say it?".

Hermione didn't reply. Harry watched her eyes flicking back and forth, wondering how so few words could cause such concentration. "Come on Hermione! It's what... 50 words asking a girl out on a date. Please don't try to compare it to Shakespeare!"

Hermione slapped Harry's arm and continued reading for a few more seconds. "I think you're nearly there. You need to say a bit more about why you're asking her out, though. Her in particular, I mean."

"Okay. Any suggestions?"

"Well you mentioned her username earlier. How about mentioning that? It'll show a bit more thought."

Harry puffed out his cheeks and blew a long breath while running both hands through his hair.

"How about 'The idea of a "sexy accountant" was far too much to resist and I'm hoping you'll tell me more' after 'about you'?", he asked.

"Put it in and read it to me", replied Hermione.

Harry started reading in his best Actor voice.

"Greetings, young lady. I am Harr-hah!" - he came to a halt as Hermione's finger jabbed into a ticklish spot on his side.

"Don't make me do that again", she said.

Harry sniffed and raised his hand to his forehead, dramatically turning away from his friend. "I could have made it to the West End if I wasn't held back by... OW!"

"You made me do it again!" smiled Hermione. "Read your post or be jabbed in even more sensitive places!"

"Is that a threat or a prom..."

Hermione's eyes narrowed as she raised both index fingers threateningly.

"I surrender!", said Harry, backing away from her as far as he could go without leaving his chair. "I'll do it properly".

Harry sat up, took a couple of breaths and read: 'Hi. My name is Harry. I saw your profile and want to know more about you: the idea of a "sexy accountant" was far too much to resist and I'm hoping you'll tell me more. My own profile is honest but I have to confess that it misses out some of the most interesting items. I hope we'll be able to explore my past together. If you want to find out more and I look like the kind of guy that might be worth a second glance, please reply.'

Hermione sat back on her chair and closed her eyes. "Say it once more".

Harry did.

"Yeah..." she said and opened her eyes again, turning her gaze on Harry. "That'll do."

Harry let his eyes rest on Hermione's for a moment, then he smiled and turned to the screen. He moved the mouse cursor over the submit button, paused again... then clicked.

"Okay, I've sent the message", he said. "_Alea iacta est_."

"So now you're comparing a date request to condemning an empire to a years-long civil war"? asked Hermione, smiling again. "I think you might be exaggerating just a little bit."

"You've never had to ask anyone out, have you?" asked Harry.

"Well... no."

"Caesar had it easy."

Harry pushed the computer keyboard back on the desk and picked up his wine glass. "Well that's my love life sorted out. Let's take another stab at fixing yours."

Hermione frowned slightly as the pair stood and walked through to the living room.

"It's not broken... it's just..." her frown deepened. "Wobbling a bit."

Hermione threw herself onto the sofa then kicked off her shoes and curled her legs up underneath her body. Harry sat down next to her and put an arm around his friend as she leaned up against him.

"We had another argument the other day. He still can't understand why I'm going to university. Calls it a load of pointless muggle stuff."

She paused and finished off her wine. Harry silently summoned the bottle from the kitchen and refilled her glass.

"I tried telling him a legal degree would help me get a better job at the ministry."

Harry sighed. "I think I can guess what came next"

"His actual words were 'So you're still determined to have a job then?'"

"Ouch. So when does he get out of St. Mungo's?"

"Ha. Well if I could do silent, wandless magic he'd be a smoking hole in the ground, but I managed to avoid any actual hexes."

"I always knew Ron was a bit... traditional in his views, but I'm surprised you haven't been able to talk him round."

"He's so set in his ways. It doesn't matter that he's known people like Amelia Bones or Minerva McGonagall who have made names for themselves. No. He's only interested in the Weasley way - mum stays home and dad works."

"I think we both know that's never going to happen."

Hermione shifted position so she was lying on Harry's lap. Harry drop a hand to her head and began running his fingers through her hair.

"I don't know what to do, Harry." said Hermione. "He doesn't even consider that it's an option. It just isn't the way the world works in Ronald Weasley's mind. I love him. I really do. But..." Hermione paused, shutting her eyes for a moment. "But I can't be with someone who won't let me live my life."

Harry leaned down and gently kissed his friend's forehead.

"He'll come around eventually. I'm sure he will." he said, not sure if he actually believed the words he was saying.

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**A/N**: Thanks for reading!

**A/N**: I've had this partially written for months and decided to go ahead and publish it. I'm well aware that it could do with a polish, but I'm hoping that by publishing a bit I'll find the motivation to finish it then go back and clean up the rough edges. All thoughtful comments are welcome, but flames aren't.


	2. Chapter 2: Memories

**Disclaimer**: It all belongs to JK Rowling, except the bits you don't recognise, which are probably mine.

**A/N**: This story has an M rating largely because of what happens in this chapter. You have been warned!

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**Chapter Two: Memories**

Two days later, Harry and Ron were sat in a pizza restaurant near Diagon Alley. The pair usually met at least once a week for beer, dinner and an evening's chat. Harry had intended to steer the conversation around to Hermione, but Ron had started with the topic and didn't seem to want to talk about anything else.

"She should concentrate on being a mother!" exclaimed Ron, earning a dirty look from a smartly dressed woman dining at a nearby table.

Harry made a shushing gesture at Ron, then concentrated and cast a silent Muffliato charm that would make their conversation almost impossible to overhear.

"Ron, this is Hermione we're talking about. She's quite capable of doing eight things at once and doing a better job of them than either of us could if we did that alone."

"But being a mum is different, though. You can't do it part time."

"She wouldn't have to be there the whole time."

"Of course she would! You can't leave a baby on its own!"

Harry sighed mentally. Hermione was right about Ron - the idea of anything other than a mother spending morning, noon and night with their children wasn't something Ron seemed to be capable of grasping.

"Ron, the baby doesn't need the mother in attendance 24/7 because he or she will have another parent."

Ron looked blankly at Harry.

"You, Ron! You'd be the other parent!"

Ron's look turned to one of incredulity.

"You're mental!" he said, "I'm working in a shop. I can't look after a kid!"

"You, Angelina, and George can easily watch over a kid. Those two will love it! Anyway, let's talk about something else. We keep having this discussion and you never change your tune. Hermione isn't going to change hers either, though"

"Have you seen her recently?" asked Ron.

"She came over yesterday evening."

"Oh yeah she said she helped you with that internal dating."

"Internet dating. And yes she did." replied Harry.

"How did that go?" asked Ron.

"Well I asked a girl out. Turns out she's called Claire Anderson, she's 21 and she's studying for a degree in economics at the LSE. That's the London School of Economics", he added at the sight of Ron's blank look. "She replied to my note and said she liked my picture and wanted to meet. I'm going to take her out for dinner on Wednesday."

"What does she look like?"

"Long wavy brown hair, brown eyes, nice smile. You'll have to come over at some point so I can show you the photo."

"Do you think it's going to work?"

"I have no idea!" laughed Harry. "I haven't met her yet. From what I know about her so far, she seems nice." He shrugged. "She might just be good at writing brief profiles."

"And you're happy with her being at university?"

"Ron, I like clever women!"

"Yeah I know you do. Sometimes I think you and Hermione should get together."

Harry choked on his beer and looked up at his friend, but Ron continued shovelling pizza into his mouth, oblivious to his friend's moment of discomfort.

"No. We're just good friends." said Harry. "Always."

.oOo.

Back at his flat later in the evening, Harry remembered the event that had caused him to choke.

It had been a Friday evening just over a year ago. Harry was stretched out on his sofa, nursing a beer and reading Madame Bovary in an effort to take his mind off Ginny when there was a crack and Hermione appeared in his living room and collapsed to her knees. Harry took one look at her appearance and leapt to his feet. She was wearing blue jeans with a grey T-shirt but no shoes or socks. Tears were streaming down her face, soaking the front of her shirt, and she was sobbing loudly.

"Merlin! What's wrong, Hermione? What's happened? Are you okay?" Harry was nearly panicking at the sight of his friend. He knelt down in front of her and put a hand tentatively on her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Harry! I didn't know where else to go!", sobbed Hermione and fell into his arms.

"No problem. Come over here. Tell me what's happened." replied Harry, helping the young woman to her feet and leading her over to the sofa.

Hermione buried her face in Harry's chest while he stroked her back and hair.

Her voice was muffled by Harry's shirt but he could still understand her well enough. "I think Ron and I just broke up."

"You think? What happened"

Hermione was beginning to calm down. She was still crying a bit but her breathing was under control now.

"He said... we both said some really hurtful things. I don't know if we can come back from this."

Harry winced. He knew how hurtful the two could be when they were in the mood. "Hey. You'll be fine. You've always been able to wind each other up but you're still obviously in love. You wouldn't be this upset if you weren't so fond of him deep down." He stopped stroking her back, shook his wand from his sleeve and silently summoned a box of tissues. "Here."

Hermione sniffed, looked up and managed a watery smile. "Thanks."

She blew her nose, dried her eyes and finally began to look a bit better.

Harry helped her to her feet and the pair moved over to his sofa.

"It was another argument about me having a career", said Hermione. "Ron wants me to be a new version of his mum - wife, mother and nothing else. I love Molly to bits, but that's not me."

"I know that, Hermione. Ron will get it too, eventually. You know he can be... " Harry searched for a polite way of putting it, "resistant to change."

"The trouble is that he's resistant to change in the same way a ten ton block of granite is resistant to change." sniffed Hermione.

"Even that will wear down eventually. And Ron's not quite that bad."

"Oh, Harry, I'm such a bitch. I'm piling all my problems on to you and you're probably still trying to get over Ginny. I'm so sorry!"

"Shh. I'm fine," he replied, causing Hermione to raise an eyebrow and look into his eyes questioningly.

"Well okay, no I'm not fine, but I'm always going to be here for you."

Hermione raised a hand and stroked Harry's cheek for a moment before moving it higher and running it through his hair.

"I know you will. You always look out for me."

Suddenly, Hermione moved forward and pressed her lips against Harry's. Before he could do anything the hand in his hair pulled him even closer and her tongue was pushing into his mouth. Something inside Harry broke. He started to return the kiss with passion, pulling Hermione even closer to him with one arm and moving his other hand down to hold and squeeze her bottom through her jeans. She gave a muffled moan, pulled the front of Harry's shirt out of his trousers and slid her free hand up, running it over his chest. He let go of her bum and moved his hand to her left breast, massaging it softly while running his thumb over her hardening nipple.

Hermione finally broke the kiss. "Ah! Fuck, that's nice." She lowered her face to Harry's neck and began alternating between kissing it and gently nibbling on his skin, causing Harry to groan in pleasure. He attacked her neck in return, and put both hands on her backside, pulling her even closer and grinding her groin into his own. Hermione threw her head back and groaned loudly, then pitched forward, both hands on his shirt lapels. "Get your fucking clothes off right now", she spat, before pulling the shirt apart. Buttons flew in all directions and Hermione lowered her mouth to his left nipple, licking and biting at it. Harry pulled Hermione's T-shirt over her head leaving her clad in a dark blue cotton bra, while she fought to free his arms from his shirt. He unsnapped her bra with one hand and quickly removed it completely.

"Beautiful" was the only word for which he had time, before first one breast and then the other experienced his lips and tongue. Mewling and gasping, Hermione managed to undo the button and zip on Harry's jeans and began pushing them down his legs. Harry did the same for her, before the pair fell to the thick carpet in a tangle of limbs. Panting and giggling, Harry quickly took off his socks, enjoying the feeling of skin on skin as Hermione slid over him as she went after his boxers. Finally, Hermione lay on the floor and raised her hips while Harry slid her panties down her pale legs. He spread her legs and knelt between them, then lowered himself over her. Hermione was flushed with desire, her hair fanned out over the carpet. She looked down their bodies then up into Harry's eyes, and bit nervously on her lower lip. Harry watched her eyes move then fixed her gaze with his own. He paused for one final moment... and then rolled away, turning onto his back to lie next to her.

The pair were silent as their breathing returned to normal.

Finally, Hermione spoke. "That was close".

"Couldn't have been much closer", agreed Harry.

Another few seconds passed as the pair let their passion subside.

Suddenly, Harry grinned, rolled onto his side and propped himself up on one elbow. He let his eyes roam over Hermione's body.

"So this is what you look like naked, huh?"

Hermione tried not to blush but it was a losing battle.

"Like what you see?" she asked.

Harry raised his eyebrows and glanced down past his chest. Hermione rolled onto her side so she could follow his eyes, and blushed again. It was pretty clear that Harry appreciated the view she was affording him.

"What about you?" he asked her.

She let her eyes take in the whole of his body, then smiled softly. "Very nice, Mr Potter. Very nice indeed."

Harry rolled away for a moment while he gathered some clothes, then rolled back throwing Hermione her T-shirt and panties. He pulled on his boxers and the remains of his shirt while Hermione got into her own clothes. When they were both vaguely decent Harry stood and helped Hermione to her feet. He pulled her into a tight but entirely chaste hug.

The pair were quiet for some time. Finally Harry whispered "Thank you", and stepped away.

Hermione looked genuinely puzzled.

"Why are you thanking me?"

"For showing me I can still feel passion, and that someone can feel it with me." He smiled and stared into the brown eyes before him. "I think it's fair to say we had a bit of passion going there."

Hermione smiled back. "Yeah. In that case, thank you too."

"Just before we stopped... the way you looked right then... I've never seen anything more beautiful in my life."

Hermione's eyes dropped for a moment.

"I think we just proved you're safe from me, but keep coming up with lines like that and the rest of the world's female population won't treat you so lightly."

She planted one last kiss on Harry's jaw.

"Can I sleep with you tonight, Harry? We can trust each other and I really don't want to be alone."

"Of course you can..." Harry paused. "But you should go and talk to Ron. If you leave it until the morning it'll be harder to sort things out."

"I don't know what to say to him any more."

"Then just tell him you're sorry for what you said..." Harry raised his voice over Hermione's immediate bluster "...and that you'll call him to work out a time when you can talk properly."

Harry took Hermione's hands in his and looked into her eyes again. "I know what you were going to say, but you _are_ sorry. I'm sure Ron's sorry too, although it would probably take veritaserum to get him to admit it. Be the one to make the first move, Hermione."

Hermione sighed and let go of Harry's hands to pull out her wand. She conjured her patronus and concentrated on it for a few moments to give it a message, then the otter leapt away and disappeared from view.

"It's done. Now take me to bed."

Harry smiled, and the pair headed to the bedroom.

.oOo.

Back in the present, Harry got ready for another night on his own. He was glad he and Hermione had shared that moment; it brought them closer together and ended any "will we, won't we" thoughts either one of them might have ever had. He just hoped Ron never found out it had happened, because he knew his friend wouldn't understand.

Harry's last thoughts before he fell asleep were about his coming date with Claire and the growing tension between his two best friends. "I'm going to have to do something about that", thought Harry, and fell asleep.

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**A/N**: Thanks for reading.

**A/N**: Thank you for the faves, follows and reviews - I'm glad some of you liked my first chapter! The reward is posting this one earlier than I planned. From now on it's probably going to be one per week - I have a full time job and other hobbies to pursue too. I already had most of this written, as the flashback was one of the first ideas I had - it's been sat around for well over a year.


	3. Chapter 3: Beginnings

**Disclaimer**: It all belongs to JK Rowling, except the bits you don't recognise, which are probably mine.

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**Chapter Three: Beginnings**

Apparating in central London was half art and half luck. The art was in being able to pick places to appear that might be deserted at any given time, and the luck came into play to help them actually be deserted. More than once, Harry had surprised somebody with his appearance, and had needed to work fast to obliviate their memories. On this night, his luck held and nobody was present when he appeared with a small pop in a narrow alley near Aldwych. Harry put his wand back into its holster and set off.

He was meeting Claire near her college; presumably, Harry thought, so she could have friends with her in case he turned out to be a nutter. The plan was to watch some stand-up comedy at the student's union then head out for a meal. Harry had never been to the Chuckle Club before, but it had a good reputation so he was quite looking forward to the experience. As he headed up Kingsway, the slight feeling of nervousness he had been feeling all day grew. He knew he was being ridiculous but just couldn't help it. He kept trying to remind himself that this was a simple date; if it didn't work out he could try again. Or simply say "No" next time Hermione tried to badger him into doing something he'd rather not do.

Harry had tried to dress as smartly as possible while staying casual, and had fallen back on the all black outfit: black jeans and a black shirt with black Doc Martens, and a short black leather jacket. He'd wondered if it was a bit too colourless but decided to go with it; he thought he looked good anyway.

It seemed as though a lecture had just finished, as students were streaming down the road as Harry approached. Claire had agreed to meet him outside the student's union building, but there were at least 50 people milling around, and it began to look like a trickier task than he'd hoped. Suddenly, however, a gap appeared in the crown, and there she was. Harry felt the same swooping feeling he'd experienced when he first saw her picture and mentally chided himself for being ridiculous - he hadn't met her yet; this could all turn out to be a mistake. Nevertheless, he took a moment to look at Claire. She wore a white, short-sleeved blouse with a red skirt that came down just below the knee, and white pumps. Her hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail. Hermione had remarked on a slight resemblance between her and Claire, and with the latter currently holding several books as she chatted to her friends, Harry had to admit there was a little something there. He couldn't help but wonder if the resemblance would remain without clothing, but quickly put a brake on that line of thought.

Harry took a deep breath and walked towards her. He was about five metres away when Claire caught sight of him and broke into a smile.

"Here he is now! Harry! It's lovely to meet you at last", she said.

"You too - much better than emails on a screen", he replied, taking her outstretched hand and squeezing it briefly before dropping it again.

"Harry, this is Jill, Andy and David", said Claire, indicating her three friends.

Harry shook each of their hands and exchanged hellos. Jill was almost openly appraising him, while the two men seemed rather reserved.

"So you're the one who finally landed the Unattainable Anderson?" remarked Andy.

"Err..." began Harry, but he was spared coming up with any kind of answer by Claire who punched Andy on the arm.

"Thanks, idiot. Fifteen seconds and you're embarrassing me already! Anyway, Harry, shall we get a drink before the comedy starts?"

The five went into the union bar where Harry ordered a round of drinks. Claire and Jill went for white wine, and Harry was tempted to do the same, but decided to join the boys in a pint of Heineken instead.

"So I know Claire's studying economics, but what about you guys?" began Harry.

"Same for me", said Jill.

"Economics and Government", said Andy.

"International History", said David, at which Harry perked up.

"I've become quite interested in history of late", he said. "I had the worst teacher imaginable at school but since then I've discovered how interesting it can be."

"Well I'm glad somebody agrees with me!" replied David. Harry could see the others rolling their eyes at this and got the impression it was a common topic of disagreement.

"Why did you go into the police rather than doing a degree, Harry?" asked Jill.

Harry took a long pull of his beer and grimaced slightly at the taste. "I've seen what happens when there isn't enough law enforcement", he said. "My parents were murdered when I was a baby, and my godfather was killed a few years ago. You can't let the bad guys have an easy time."

The four students were staring with wide eyes at Harry, and Jill's mouth was actually hanging open.

"I'm sorry..." she stuttered.

"No need to be. You didn't know", replied Harry. "I shouldn't have brought the conversation down."

He took another pull of beer. "Have you given any thought to what you'll do after university? And no, I'm not trying to guilt you into joining the police", he added with a smile.

"I might work in a bank", said Andy, "Or maybe look at getting into management."

"You have to do a proper job before you can be a manager", argued Claire. "Nobody will take you seriously if you're trying to tell them what to do when you've never done anything yourself."

Further argument was curtailed by the compère of the club who chose that moment to start the evening's comedy.

Harry decided that stand-up comedy was a great way to start the night. It meant that everyone ended up in a good mood and that he didn't have to face an inquisition from Claire's friends. By the time they'd watched two hours of comedy, Jill, Andy and David were happy to see Claire head off with Harry.

"Sorry about them", said Claire. "They just wanted to make sure I didn't need a quick rescue."

"No need to apologise. It's always good to have friends looking out for you." Harry paused. "So you don't need rescuing then?"

"Not yet", she smiled. "If you're going to take me to McDonald's for dinner that might change."

"There goes my first choice!" laughed Harry. "Okay, let's see how you like my alternative option."

He led them back down Kingsway, around Aldwych past the Waldorf Hilton then across The Strand.

"Will this do?", asked Harry, pausing outside Simpsons-in-the-Strand.

Claire stared for a moment then smiled. "Better than McDonald's, that's for sure."

They entered and were quickly seated by the Maître-d'. Harry tackled the wine list while Claire got more and more excited over the menu.

"Any first thoughts on what you're having?" asked Harry.

"I really fancy fish", replied Claire, "but I can't decide which."

"Good. Me too", said Harry, and asked the wine waiter for a bottle of Meursault.

"So. The Unattainable Anderson?", teased Harry, and Claire frowned. "Touchy subject?"

"It's just Andy. We've been friends for two years and he suddenly started asking me out. I keep telling him we're friends and I don't see him like that and he started calling me Unattainable because I hadn't dated during my whole time at uni."

Harry grunted. "Sounds similar to my situation. My best mate keeps trying to get me back with my ex - his sister. Can't seem to understand that we tried that and it didn't work."

"Perhaps set Andy up with... what's her name?"

"Ginny. That would be interesting!"

The waiter appeared and the pair ordered. Harry went for roast wood pigeon breast followed by the monkfish while Claire opted for Pickled beetroot "Carpaccio" and the salt-roasted seabas.

"So neither of us has dated in two years?" said Harry. "This could be difficult. They've probably changed the rules."

Claire laughed. "We'll work them out as we go, then."

The wine arrived and Harry tasted it quickly. It was good, but the lager from earlier was still throwing his taste off. The waiter poured two glasses and Claire gave an "Mmm!" of delight.

"This is delicious! I hope you're not breaking the bank to impress me."

Harry shrugged. "Good wine is the one luxury I allow myself. Especially in restaurants. If you're spending over the odds to get a top class meal, an extra few pounds on wine to go with it is essential, not an extravagance."

"I guess. I usually don't have those few extra pounds though."

"That can be a problem."

"If you don't mind me asking, how are you so well off on a trainee policeman's salary?"

Harry's face darkened for a moment. "I was left money. My parents... my godfather." A wistful smile appeared on his lips as he seemed lost in thought. "The latter would be really pleased that I'm spending his money on wining and dining a beautiful woman."

"Bit of a ladies' man was he?"

"By the time I knew him he spent more time reliving past glories, but yeah."

"So are you following in his footsteps?"

Harry laughed. "My dates can be numbered on the fingers of one hand! Let's think... Parvati in my fourth year at School - one date, Cho in my fifth - one date, then Ginny..." he stopped and thought for a moment, "I don't think you could say we ever really dated. We sort of skipped that stage. Then a long gap, and now you."

"Well here's one area where I have the advantage", said Claire.

"Really?"

"Yup. His name was Chris. We were boyfriend and girlfriend for..." Claire thought for a moment, "about 18 months. We had a wedding planned, a house picked out, everything. We knew what jobs we were going to do and how our careers were going to progress."

"So... what happened?"

"He turned 11", laughed Claire. Harry laughed too.

"It was my 11th birthday when my whole life changed", he said eventually.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I found out my name was down for... a boarding school in Scotland. Up until then my life had been pretty much hell. I was living with my Aunt and her family and they really, really didn't like me. Boarding school meant I could get away from all that. It changed my life. I met my two best friends there for a start. Ron and Hermione."

"Hermione?"

"Her parents apparently love Greek mythology."

The starters arrived and were eaten; the main course arrived. Harry found himself becoming more absorbed in their conversation and Claire's mannerisms. She did this cute little shake of the head that caused the hair that had escaped from her band to drop down around her face, then she'd tuck it back again. She couldn't help but give away her surprise at the food, too. Every forkful was accompanied by a widening of the eyes at the initial taste followed by them closing as she savoured the mouthful.

The rest of the meal passed in idle conversation. Harry was usually quite reserved, especially around people he didn't know, and was amazed at just how easily the words came to him with Claire. He managed to tempt her into a dessert, but eventually dinner was over and the pair found themselves outside. They wandered slowly back towards the university, not because either wanted to head there but because neither wanted the evening to end.

Bells started chiming the hour and the two young people suddenly realised it was midnight and both had early starts in the morning.

"I'll call you a cab", said Harry, flagging down a taxi that happened to be passing. He handed the driver three twenty pound notes. "Please take the lady wherever she needs to go and keep the change."

"You didn't have to do that!", exclaimed Claire.

"I'd offer to escort you home myself but it seems too early for that. This is the next best thing I can do."

Claire blushed very slightly then moved forward and kissed Harry on his right cheek. "Maybe next time?"

"Until next time, then." Harry smiled. "Is tomorrow night too soon?"

Claire appeared thoughtful for a moment. "I know my friends will say it is, but we don't know the rules, right? Tomorrow night. But promise it won't be this extravagant?"

"I promise".

"Thank you, Harry. I had a lovely night.", said Claire with a smile, then got into the cab and closed the door. Harry watched as she said something to the driver, who turned out his taxi's light and pulled away. He realised he was smiling too, and closed his eyes for a moment as he relived the all-too-brief feeling of Claire's lips on his cheek.

Unwilling to wipe the smile from his face, Harry started heading towards another alley from which he could apparate home.

.oOo.

Harry was still smiling as he appeared in his flat with the usual pop. Hanging up his jacket, he went to the kitchen and poured himself a large glass of tap water before moving into his study and turning on the computer. He sipped at his water as he checked his email. He never had much - most of his friends were witches and wizards who couldn't get to grips with the technology - but one from Hermione caught his eye. The subject line was "Ranting about Ron", and Harry felt his spirits sink. Sure enough, it was another long - and rambling, which was unusual for Hermione - text about the many failings of Ronald B Weasley. Harry scanned it quickly to see if there was anything new, but there wasn't. It was the same things Hermione had been saying about Ron for the last year or more.

He closed the email with an exasperated click and threw himself back in his chair with a sigh, closing his eyes and running his hands through his hair. Ron and Hermione were stuck in a rut, and he was stuck in it with them. For over a year there hadn't been a week in which Harry hadn't listened sympathetically while one of his two best friends bitched about the other. More often than not he'd be treated to both sides of the argument inside a week. He was out of ideas to suggest to the pair, and rapidly running out of patience with the whole situation. Suddenly, Harry's eyes snapped open. An idea had hit him like a thunderbolt. It was risky. It could go wrong in all sorts of horrible ways, but at this point he was almost past caring.

Turning back to his computer, Harry began writing an email to Hermione. It didn't take long but he paused and re-read the message several times before hitting send. Then he looked at the clock: 11 o'clock wasn't too late. He conjured his patronus and concentrated to give it a message then watched as it bounded off towards The Burrow.

He hoped this worked.

Something had to.

* * *

**A/N**: Thanks for reading!

**A/N**: Quite a lot of the next chapter is already written so it might go up a bit early. No promises though! This one was really difficult to write. I kept wanting to delete everything and insert something like "Harry met Claire and the date went well" but that does absolutely nothing to establish her as a character. On the other hand, I really don't want to get bogged down in the minutiae of dating. This isn't intended to be a 500,000 word story with loads of build-up but a short story with a couple of plot bunnies that I may expand in a separate story.

**A/N**: I'd appreciate a few more reviews. Not for vanity but so I know which bits you like and which bits you don't. The story is planned out but mostly unwritten, so I can adjust things to keep you happy if there are preferences for some types of scene.


	4. Chapter 4: Progress

**Disclaimer**: It all belongs to JK Rowling, except the bits you don't recognise, which are probably mine.

* * *

**Chapter Four: Progress**

At exactly six o'clock there was a pop and Hermione appeared in Harry's living room.

"Hey, Harry!" she said as the two friends shared a hug, "So what's the big mystery?"

Hermione sat down on the sofa and Harry on a chair opposite.

"I've got a problem, and I need your help to fix it", he said.

"I'll help any way I can. You know that." replied Hermione, looking puzzled.

"It's not that simple. You see..."

Harry was interrupted by a second, rather louder, pop and Ron appeared at the flat's apparition point. His eyes widened as soon as he caught sight of his girlfriend.

"I didn't realise you were going to be here too."

"That, my friends," said Harry, "was the whole idea. I'm really sorry about this, but..."

Harry cast two body-binds in quick succession, followed by two disarming jinxes. He caught both his friends' wands, then ran to grab Ron before his immobile form fell to the floor. Dragging him over to the sofa, Harry propped him up on the cushions then sat down on a footstool and faced his two frozen yet clearly furious friends.

"I'm really, really sorry to do it this way but it's..." Harry glanced at his watch, "Five past six, I have a date at six-thirty, and any conversation we're likely to have at this point is going to take way, way longer than twenty five minutes."

Harry took his glasses off with one hand while sighing deeply and rubbing his eyes with his other hand. He looked back up at his two immobile friends and replaced his glasses, then ran both hands through his hair.

"You two are my best friends. You both know that but I have to say it now anyway. We've been through more in ten years than most people go through in a lifetime, and the reason I'm doing this now and taking the risk that I might piss both of you off to the point where you tell me to fuck off for good is that I love you."

Harry dropped his head and ran both hands through his hair again.

"Whenever I've needed a shoulder to cry on, someone to drink with, someone to tell me I'm an idiot, someone to work with or just someone to be in the same damn room with, you two are the ones who've been there."

He looked up, first at Hermione then at Ron.

"Now, the pair of you are coming this close" - Harry held up two fingers half a centimetre apart - "to fucking it all up."

Harry took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself.

"For eighteen months it's been the same thing from both of you, time after time. 'He doesn't understand me'; 'She doesn't understand me', and it's been me in the middle. That's FINE. I'm your friend and I want to help, but I ran out of stuff to suggest six months ago and I'm still hearing the same damn arguments."

Harry stood and walked over to his coat-rack. After looking over his available options for a moment, he picked a dark brown leather jacket that would go well with his blue jeans and grey shirt. He checked his appearance in the mirror next to the door then walked back towards his two reluctant guests.

"So I'm going for 'kill-or-cure' tonight. The wards on this flat..." he pointed his wand at what appeared to be a minimalist granite block in one corner, and concentrated for a moment, "are now keyed to me alone, so don't try apparating away. The windows are all locked, both magically and muggle-wise, and they can't be broken. The door..." Harry paused with a thoughtful look on his face, then shrugged and waved his wand. The flat's front door faded into the wall, "The front door doesn't exist any more. There are..." he waved his wand a few more times, "silencing charms on the floor, ceiling and walls, so don't bother trying to make a noise to attract attention."

Harry looked around the room, wondering if there was anything he had forgotten. His eyes fell on his owl Watson's cage in the corner of the room, and he waved his wand once more.

"And finally, no owls can reach you or be sent from you."

He sat on the footstool again and looked at his friends.

"I won't be back before midnight. Even if Claire throws her wine in my face and walks out I'll hang around in a bar somewhere before coming back here. That means you've got at least five hours to sort this shit out. Or at least, make a good start towards sorting this shit out."

He sighed again.

"Don't hate me for this, please."

Harry stood and walked over towards Hermione. He knelt down by her petrified form and put an arm around her, then pointed towards Ron.

"Hermione, that's Ronald Weasley. We both know he isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but you think he's funny, you also think he's... what was it, 'a bit of a hunk?' and when he remembers to do something romantic it makes you want to scream and sob with joy.

Harry stood again, walked to Ron's end of the sofa and sat on the armrest. He put one hand on Ron's shoulder and used his other hand to point at Hermione.

"You see her, Ron? That's Hermione Granger. You can't believe she's interested in you because she's so clever she could do anything she wants. Whenever you see her tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear you want to kiss her senseless, and you can never sleep properly unless she's in your arms. She wants to have your kids, mate."

He stood again and looked at his friends.

"So tonight, say it to each other instead of me. If you decide to make up, the guest bedroom has fresh linen..." - his friends both demonstrated that a full-body bind didn't stop the blush reflex. "If not... well there's food in the kitchen, films by the TV, and in my office you'll find books, ingredients and other materials in case you want to plot a revenge."

Harry walked back to the mirror near the blank space where his door usually stood and took one final look. Satisfied, he turned back towards Ron and Hermione.

"If we do meet again, why, we shall smile. If not, why then this parting was well made", he said, before turning on the spot and vanishing.

Ron folded on to the sofa as the body bind disappeared.

"What did he mean by that?", he asked.

"It's Shakespeare. It... I think he's saying it'll be goodbye unless we sort this out." replied Hermione.

Ron stood to try apparating but only managed to spin in place before collapsing in a heap on the sofa.

"Well his wards work perfectly." He looked his girlfriend in the eye. "So let's talk".

.oOo.

Claire had persuaded Harry that their second date should be somewhere a little cheaper than their first, so they had agreed to go to the Pizza Express on the Strand. Harry apparated into an alley nearby and made his may around to the front to wait for her. He found his mind wandering to the decision he was going to have to make. At some point he was going to have to tell Claire the truth about himself, and he wasn't looking forward the that moment. He'd been an eleven-year-old kid when he'd heard about magic and at that age you're ready to believe just about anything. Claire was 21, far more cynical, and had spent her whole life learning that magic only happens in books and Saturday night TV shows featuring toupee-wearing entertainers with glamorous assistants.

Further rumination was curtailed by the arrival of his date. Harry felt the same swooping sensation that he'd felt the first time he saw her. Something about her just clicked with him. She'd dressed as simply as he had: white T-shirt, blue jeans and white trainers; there was nothing to differentiate her clothes from the ones being worn by dozens of other young women within a stone's throw, but somehow Harry felt she simply looked better than they did.

"Hi Harry!" she greeted him as soon she got close, "Sorry to keep you waiting".

"I was early. And I've only been here a couple of minutes." replied Harry, and couldn't stop himself adding "You look lovely."

Claire blushed, smiled and looked down shyly for a moment. "You look nice too." she said at last, and it was Harry's turn to smile.

They looked at each other for a moment and Harry fought back an impulse to kiss his date. Instead, he turned slightly towards the restaurant and gestured with an arm. "Shall we?"

The pair entered the restaurant and were soon seated.

"I'm paying tonight", said Claire. "No arguments".

"Let me get the wine though. Remember what I said yesterday", replied Harry.

Claire thought for a moment. "Okay. I suppose that's fair enough. I have to admit I really enjoyed drinking good wine for a change."

"They won't have anything quite that good, but let's see."

Harry looked at the wine list for a moment before ordering a bottle of the Barbera.

"So your friends decided you didn't need an escort tonight?", he teased.

"They liked you", replied Claire. "Jill actually told me that if I decided I wasn't interested, I should give you her number."

"I _thought_ she was ogling me a bit", laughed Harry.

"Would you be interested in her?"

"She seemed nice, but my attention was elsewhere yesterday", said Harry with a smile.

Claire smiled back, and Harry's stomach launched another flock of butterflies.

The waitress returned to their table, and the pair made their order.

.oOo.

Later in the evening, the pair found themselves once again walking slowly along The Strand chatting about nothing in particular. After a while Harry noticed that Claire was starting to rub her arms to ward off a slight chill in the air.

"Are you cold?" he asked.

"It's getting a bit chilly", replied Claire.

Harry thought for a moment. The obvious solution was to give Claire his coat, but there was another option. He moved closer and put an arm around Claire, pulling her closer to him.

"How about this", he said. "If you still feel cold I'll give you my coat."

Claire slid one arm under his coat and around his back. "That's much better".

Harry couldn't see her face, but he could tell by her voice that she was smiling.

"Oof. Your arm is really cold."

"And you're nice and warm!"

"Well they say opposites attract!", laughed Harry.

Claire was quiet for a few moments, then stopped walking. She pulled her arm out from under Harry's coat and turned to look at him.

"I know it's soon but... I really like you and... It just feels... I understand if you don't..."

Harry smiled, "It's usually best if you finish one sentence before beginning another.", he teased.

Claire stared at her shoes, a blush rising to cover her whole face. "I guess it is", she mumbled, then suddenly looked up and stared Harry in the eyes. "Can I spend the night with you?"

Harry's mind sped to the secret he was keeping from her. He knew he couldn't take things any further without telling Claire everything. He also knew this wasn't the time. It was late and he needed to put his plan into effect earlier in the day.

The look on Claire's face stirred something within him. It was a mixture of hope, fear, desire, defiance... it seemed incredible to Harry that a human face could convey so much information. Without even realising what he was doing, he moved forward and kissed Claire on the lips. They were warm and soft, and Harry couldn't remember the last time he'd felt something so good. After a moment, Claire's arms went around his neck and pulled him closer; Harry slid his arms up her back and did the same. Both young people lost track of the time as they stood locked in each others' arms. Sometimes their kiss was soft and delicate, sometimes it was more urgent and needy, but they seemed to know instinctively what the other wanted. After several minutes they began to became aware of their surroundings once more; of the people passing by, cars in the street and the gathering chill of night. Harry pulled away and looked his date in the eyes.

"That was incredible." he whispered.

"Yeah. It was", replied Claire.

"I would really, really like to say yes," began Harry, "but there are people... staying there at the moment. Plus there's something I have to show you first. Can you come round tomorrow evening? Flat 602, 12 Alderney Drive, Victoria. About 5pm?"

Claire looked a little disappointed. "I can... but..."

"It's important. You'll understand. I promise", interrupted Harry.

"Okay then. Can you write that down so I don't forget it?"

Harry didn't have any paper or a pen, but he reached into his pocket and cast a silent conjuration spell to create a notebook and pencil, making it appear as if they'd been there all along. He wrote down the address and handed it to Claire.

She looked at the note for a moment then folded it, slipped the paper into a trouser pocket and looked back at Harry.

"Three days in a row? We really are writing our own rules" she said.

"I'm glad", replied Harry.

Claire moved forward and kissed him on the cheek.

"It was another lovely evening, Harry", she said.

"I hope tomorrow will be another", he replied. "Do you want me to call you a taxi?"

"I'm almost home now. But thanks for offering. Will you catch one yourself?" asked Claire.

"It's not far to Victoria. It won't take long to pop home", replied Harry, trying not to smile at his own weak joke - he couldn't explain it to Claire after all.

"I'll see you then." Claire gave a little wave and set off home. Harry watched her walk for a few moments then looked around to find somewhere from which he could apparate. Heading towards a quiet doorway, Harry hoped he wasn't heading into an ambush. With a grimace, he turned on the spot and vanished.

* * *

**A/N**: Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5: Discovery

**Disclaimer**: It all belongs to JK Rowling, except the bits you don't recognise, which are probably mine.

* * *

**Chapter Five: Discovery**

Harry appeared in his flat and looked around nervously, half expecting to be attacked at once. Gradually, a smile spread across his face: neither Ron nor Hermione was visible, but the noises coming out of the guest room suggested a passionate reconciliation was well under way.

"At least somebody's getting some tonight", he muttered. He entered his bedroom, threw most of his clothes into the hamper by the door then pulled on an old T-shirt and collapsed onto his bed. After a minute or so he sat back up, grabbed his wand and cast a few silencing charms at the walls and door. Without the passionate cacophony coming from the next room, he fell asleep within moments.

.oOo.

Next morning Harry woke early. Remembering the previous evening, he cancelled the silencing charms and was relieved to hear that his friends had decided to call it a night at some point. He took a quick shower then dressed casually before heading into the kitchen to start on breakfast. Ron's eating habits hadn't changed much since Hogwarts so Harry put together a full English breakfast for him while preparing a slightly smaller version for himself and a more continental-style repast for Hermione. When the smell of cooking didn't wake his friends up, he started banging the pans around a bit more than necessary and turned on the radio for extra effect. This evidently did the trick, but it quickly became clear that his friends still had some reconciliation to do.

"If this is all they do to get their revenge on me I suppose I can't complain", muttered Harry under his breath.

He waited until they finished then walked over to their door and knocked loudly. "Breakfast is served, lovebirds. If you're not out here in five minutes I'm coming in with a fire hose."

Harry sat at the kitchen table and began eating breakfast. A minute or so later, the bedroom door opened to reveal Hermione and Ron looking ruffled and a bit flushed.

"I'd apologise for what I did but it looks you had a pleasant enough night. Is my spare bed still in one piece?" asked Harry casually.

Hermione blushed and spread jam on a croissant in silence but Ron smirked back. "I think we broke the base of the bed, and the mattress didn't last long at all. The undersheet caught fire, the other sheets are ripped and the headboard will definitely never be the same again." he replied.

This earned Ron a gentle elbow to the ribs from his girlfriend, but as he turned and pulled her into a hug she burst out in very un-Hermione-like giggles.

"I'm really glad, you guys. I honestly didn't know what I'd find when I came back last night."

"We still have more to talk about," said Hermione, "but we'll be fine. I'm sorry we kept dumping all our arguments on you."

"As long as you're moving forwards I don't mind being a sounding board," replied Harry. "It was only when the same things kept coming up again and again that I started to think about how to break the cycle."

"What about you mate?" asked Ron. "Has the lovely Claire succumbed to what passes for charm in your case?"

"Well she asked to come back here but I said no," said Harry, ignoring Ron's disbelieving expression and Hermione's raised eyebrow. "I don't want to keep anything from her so" - he took a deep breath - "I've invited Claire round here tonight and I'm going to tell her everything. My plan at the moment is to talk to her a bit, show her some basic magic, then some more advanced stuff and finally take her to Diagon Alley. After that I'll either be at St. Mungo's getting my teeth fixed or... well I'll see what happens."

"Do you want us to come with you? Or be around the Alley so she can meet us?" asked Hermione.

"I think it should be just the two of us at first. Could you meet us at the Leaky Cauldron... 8ish?" replied Harry.

"Not a problem mate", said Ron. He paused a moment before adding "So you think she's the one?"

Harry's expression went blank for a moment as he cast his mind back to the previous evening, and especially the kiss.

"Yes. I really do. I never believed in love at first sight but ever since I first saw her picture I've felt... something. Then the first time we met I felt it again. And the first time we kissed..." Harry was interrupted by a loud squeal from Hermione.

"You kissed! You should have said! How did it happen? Was it good? How long did it last? Who started it? Oh... everything!" she gushed.

Harry smiled and shook his head. Hermione could be so predictable at times.

"Would you like the penseive memory?", he teased. "I suppose I started it, and it was absolutely incredible." Harry frowned. "You know... I can't guess how long it was. It felt either like a second or about a thousand years. Somewhere between those two. I've never experienced a kiss like that before."

"Oi!" exclaimed Ron, "What about Ginny? You two seemed to kiss enough while you were seeing each other."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Do you really want me to discuss your little sister's kissing technique with you Ron?"

He carried on speaking over Ron's bluster. "Look, the only _bad_ kiss I've ever had was the one with Cho, and that was only because she was crying the whole time. But this one was... well... magic."

Hermione looked thoughtful. "You know there are going to be plenty of people unhappy at the idea of The Slayer of Voldemort dating a muggle?"

"I know. And if I ever begin to give a damn what those idiots think, please give me a slap." replied Harry.

"It might be more than just malicious chat though, mate" said Ron. "There's been quite a bit of discussion in the Wizengamot about the number of muggles who know about the magical world. A lot of people died in the war and some purebloods are worried that we're going to disappear."

"I need to make this place fit for a muggle - at least at first. Can you two give me a hand spotting all the magical stuff?"

.oOo.

Claire arrived just before 5pm. Harry buzzed her through the building's entry door and cast his eyes around the flat while he waited for the lift to bring her up to the sixth floor. The doorbell rang and Harry opened the door to let his girlfriend in. The pair exchanged a hug then Harry offered to take her coat. Claire looked around while Harry looked at Claire. She was wearing silvery pumps that showed a lot of her feet, with fairly baggy stonewashed jeans and a white blouse. Her hair was gathered loosely at the back with a few strands hanging around her face. She looked utterly happy and relaxed and Harry found himself hoping she still looked that way in a couple of hours.

"Wow, Harry! This is fantastic!" she gushed.

"Would you like a quick tour?" he asked. At Claire's silent nod he took her right arm and escorted her through the rest of the flat. "It's not a huge place. Guest room... my room... office... kitchen... pointless cupboard that's too small to be able to use for anything much... and back to the living room."

Harry steered Claire over to the sofa and they sat down.

"Okay. I'm sorry for being so mysterious, but before we take this any further there's something you need to know about me," he began.

Claire gave a nervous smile. "Let me guess - you used to be a woman and your name was Harriet?"

Harry smiled. "No, it's nothing like that."

"Ooh. You're the head of a local drug ring and all this is paid for with the profits of trafficking?"

"No, not that either."

"I know..."

"I'm a wizard, Claire," interrupted Harry and shook his wand out of his sleeve. "This is a magic wand. I use it to cast spells."

Harry summoned a book from one of his shelves then banished it back again then made the coffee table hover for a few moments.

"Magic." said Claire, in a dead tone.

"Yes, magic." Harry transfigured a vase of flowers on the table into a cat then turned the whole table into a Shetland pony.

That proved too much for Claire who leapt to her feet and backed away against the nearest wall.

"It's okay," said Harry softly and waved his wand to undo both transformations.

"It's not bloody well okay!" replied a terrified Claire. "How the fuck did you do that? And don't fob me off with 'magic'."

"That's what it is. There's a whole magic side to the world. It's much, much smaller than the non-magical world but it exists. If you still want to be with me I can show you more." Harry bowed his head and ran one hand through his hair. "I'm still the same person, Claire. This is just another part of me. I couldn't tell you until I was sure... until I was sure we had something. I really hope you think so too and I haven't fucked this up."

"Please can you put that down?", she said pointing at Harry's wand.

"Here." Harry held his wand out towards her. "Take it. I want you to trust me. Just... don't break it please."

Claire looked at the piece of wood for several seconds then reached out and pulled it away from Harry.

"If I break it, you lose your magic?"

"No. But that stick and I have been through a lot together. At the moment you wouldn't understand but I'll tell you all about it if you give me the chance."

"Can... can I do those things?"

"Almost certainly not. If you were magical you'd probably have received an invitation to study at the same school as me. You're welcome to try though. Try pointing the wand at that vase and saying 'accio'. That's the summoning charm."

"You didn't say anything."

"True. After a lot of practise you don't need the words. After more practice you don't need the wand movements. The strongest wizards and witches can even cast some spells without their wands. I can do some of that, but not much."

Claire pointed Harry's wand at the vase and said the incantation but Harry was unsurprised when nothing happened.

"So I'm not magical?"

"You may still have some magic but honestly, that's very unlikely."

"What else haven't you told me?"

"I told you I was training in law enforcement. That's true, but it's in the magical world. I'm a trainee auror - that's a magical policeman. Hopefully I'll graduate later this year. There's a lot more about the magical world I can tell you too. I'm not going to hide anything."

"Why are you chasing non-magical girls on the Internet instead of looking for someone who already knows all this stuff?"

"This is going to sound..." Harry sighed. "I'm... very famous in the magical world. There was a war and I defeated a dark wizard called Voldemort to end it. Since then it's like all the girls my age are only interested in me for that. I wanted to get away from it and find someone who liked me for... well, for me."

"A war? And somehow the rest of us never noticed?"

"You did, but it was always explained away. Think back three years ago. Bridges collapsed for no reason, people disappeared, there was a rash of 'gas main explosions'. I lost..." Harry swallowed. "I lost several good friends. I was killed myself actually."

"But you got better?", said Claire sarcastically.

"It was complicated."

"You know how all this sounds, right? Either there's a whole other world living alongside the one I'm used to that has somehow evaded detection all this time, or I'm trapped in a house with a delusional maniac who must have managed to dose me with a hallucinogen or something."

"You're not trapped. If you want to leave, and I really hope you don't, the door's open. Please leave my wand on the shelf. I'll sit here or I'll walk to the other end of the room if you prefer. Look, I do know how all this sounds. I felt roughly the same when I was 11 and heard it all for the first time. Even now sometimes I'll hear something new that makes me wonder whether my leg's being pulled. I told you how my life changed on my 11th birthday when I went to a boarding school? Well that was true, except the school was Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. That's where I learned all this."

Claire stood in silence and Harry knew better than to interrupt her thoughts.

After a minute or so, Claire walked towards the door. Harry felt tears prick his eyes and buried his head in his hands. He listened to a small, wooden noise as Claire left his wand as requested, then heard the door open.

Harry waited through a moment of pure tension... then the door slammed and he felt the tension dissolve into disappointment.

"Fuck."

"Not very eloquent but it seemed to come from the heart."

In shock, Harry grabbed his wand from his sleeve, having forgotten it wasn't there, and the misplaced momentum caused him to spin inelegantly to the floor. With every piece of gravitas and elegance he could find, Harry raised his head, put his arms on the coffee table and looked at Claire, who was still definitely on Harry's side of the door rather than the other. The look on her face was somewhere between horror and hilarity.

"If I hadn't forgotten you had my wand just then, that would have been far less embarrassing."

Claire gave a small, slightly lopsided grin then became serious. "Look... you scared me, and I don't like being scared. But..." She stopped talking and visibly gathered herself. "But I really, really like you. I liked you when I first saw your picture, I liked you even more when we first met, and I've liked you more as we've spent more time together." Claire took a deep breath. "And the kiss. That kiss was mindblowing. I think I floated the whole way home."

A thought seemed to cross her mind and she frowned slightly. "Did you do anything magical? Is that why it was so good?"

Harry shook his head. "Nothing. I promise. But yeah... it was pretty spectacular."

"So... magic. Right. Let's go with that for a minute. Is there anything else you feel you ought to tell me? I mean, do you travel by flying on the back of a dragon and fight giants for fun?".

"Err... you're not going to believe it, but..."

"What?" shouted Claire. "I was joking!"

"Well there was only one flight on the back of a dragon. And nobody fights giants for fun."

Harry was trying to be light, but he knew it was a lot for Claire to take in at once. He stood up and walked over to her. He took her hands in his and looked her in the eyes.

"Let's start with the small stuff. I thought we could head to the main magic centre of Britain. It's called Diagon Alley. We can take a look at the shops, you can see some more magical stuff. Hopefully it'll ease you into things. How does that sound?" He smiled, and Claire smiled back.

"Nothing weird?"

"Nothing _too_ weird. You may see a goblin or two."

Claire laughed. "If you're making all this up you are going to be in so much trouble."

Harry smiled. "Promises, promises".

"Is it far?" asked Claire.

"You can get to it through a pub on Charing Cross Road", replied Harry, "But there's an easier way. Ready for another bit of magic?"

Claire's eyes widened slightly and she nodded.

"Okay then. This will feel a little weird." said Harry, and with a small pop, the couple disappeared.

* * *

**A/N**: Thanks for reading!


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